


if we can't find heaven (i'll walk through hell with you)

by Fierysky



Series: Quakerider Comfort [9]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship/Love, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season/Series 05, Sharing a Bed, The Devil Complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierysky/pseuds/Fierysky
Summary: Aftermath ofThe Devil Complex.Daisy is suffering from the after-effects of what happened when a knock sounds at her door. It's Robbie Reyes, returning from Hell.OrDaisy gets comforted.





	if we can't find heaven (i'll walk through hell with you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AllTheNamesIWantedWereUsed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheNamesIWantedWereUsed/gifts).



> I had a lot of Big Feelings after That Episode, and I wanted to process a bit in fic form.
> 
> For Luna <3

Robbie returned in the middle of the night.

Daisy was restlessly punching her pillow, trying to get comfortable and failing as usual.

The first night after it happened, she’d wished it was Fitz’s face when she punched her pillow. But then she’d rolled onto her stomach, and suddenly the bed was a gurney and there was a scalpel at her head and she screamed and screamed.

She hadn't been back in her bed since then, only sleeping fitfully upright on her armchair, hugging her pillow for comfort. 

She’d bought a new one now, oversized and extra fluffy with a soft pink cotton pillowcase. Everything came up to $21.97 after tax and the peace of mind after tossing her old pillow was priceless. 

Or maybe it was worth $21.97? 

A low knock sounded and Daisy jumped.

Heart thumping, she readied her new Glock 34 - $719.32 after tax because she didn't trust weaponry from SHIELD- taking comfort in the cold steel. She didn't trust visitors at night either and removing the safety, she crept to the peephole.

She gasped when she saw a familiar form.

Robbie. 

He’d come back.

She cracked open the door with shaking hands but doused the flickering hope. Hope was a lie.

“How do I know it’s you?” she demanded through the space, her voice cracking from disuse. 

“Who else will come to see your ass at 2 am?” his smile was lopsided, friendlier than she’d ever remembered.

Was it a trick?

“Why aren’t you at Gabe’s? Why did you come to find me?” 

There was a long pause and Daisy readied her gun behind the door.

“From what I heard from Coulson,” Robbie was choosing his words carefully. “You need me more than Gabe. Let me in?”

“Come to see if I’m as fucked up as they say?” Daisy unlocked the door, and as soon as he entered, she pointed her gun at his head. “Prove to me you’re Robbie.”

“For starters that can’t kill me,” Robbie slowly placed his hands in the air. “And unless you want us to beat up some robots together, not sure how-”

A violent noise exploded and thank fuck she’d aimed at the wall behind him.

Robbie’s face drained of color. “Shit. The robots-” and he clamped his mouth shut. “Shit.”

“May put you up to come here?” Daisy’s chest heaved. “Wanna talk me into more therapy? And meds that don’t work?” Her hands were shaking as she put the gun down.

Robbie took a tentative step towards her, his palms outstretched. Like he was dealing with a fucking crazy person. “I missed you, Daisy.”

The shriek that ripped from Daisy’s throat wasn’t human.

“Where were you when I needed you?” she screamed, charging at him. “You’re here now because you _miss me?”_ Her fist connected with his jaw, and never was the crunch of bone more satisfying. “I missed you too, you piece of shit. When I was kidnapped. And sold. And made to fight. And tortured.” She punctuated her words with her fists, hitting him harder the more concerned he looked. 

She wanted to beat the pity out of his face.

The sight of blood- hers or his she didn’t know- shocked her to reality. 

Was she becoming a monster? Like her mother? Like _him?_

She staggered away from Robbie, her bruised hand to her mouth as realization dawned. 

She was already a monster.

“Hey, it’s okay. I can take it,” Robbie rushed to her side like he wasn’t the battered one. “Lucky me? Remember?”

“Robbie?” Daisy whimpered. It had to be him, no one else would know that conversation from the night of the blackout. She let him draw her close, but then broke away. She didn’t deserve any comfort.

“You get to kick my ass one more time before we’re even.” Robbie pulled his gloves off and reached for the cardboard box of tissues from her coffee table. It was empty, but there was a newer one tossed on the couch. He didn’t comment on the wadded up balls littering the floor.

He was gingerly blotting the blood of this face when Daisy glanced at him. “What are you doing here?” She dashed away a tear that escaped.

“Wanted to see if you needed help with anything,” Robbie searched her face. “What do you need, Daisy?”

“A whole new life,” Daisy hesitatingly walked to him. “I think this one is defective.” She looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears.

“Hey,” Robbie gently touched her chin, his rough fingers scraping her skin as he turned her to look at him. “We need to do something about your hand. Got any ice?”

“Yeah.” Daisy let out a shaky breath. “You might need something, too. Medkit’s on the fridge ”

“My head’s too hard for you to hurt,” he teased, leading her to the couch. “I’ll get it.”

He got an icepack from the freezer, and when he sat next to Daisy she scooted away. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d bathed. “I got this." She darted for a change of clothes. "I'm going to shower really quick.”

Robbie nodded, and to give himself something to do, he began straightening up her room.

Daisy grabbed a towel and ran the hot water, gritting her teeth when she stepped into her tiny shower. Sure, her bandages were off, but the site sometimes felt like an open flesh wound and she’d hated showering. Water trickling on the scar felt like the blood dripping down her skin when Fitz sliced her open. 

A crash sounded and then a curse in Spanish. Robbie must’ve tripped over something she left out.

“I can do this,” Daisy muttered as she stepped under the scalding shower. Her insides knotted when the water hit her face and then neck, but she concentrated on how it felt on her chest and legs and the steam rising.

“I should get new soap. Or maybe body wash,” she continued speaking out loud, needing the echo of her voice to chase away the shadows in her mind. “Maybe a new loofah too.”

She talked to herself for the entire shower, and by the time she’d gotten ready, her cheeks delicately pink, and her hair curling, her room was tidier than she’d ever seen it. She placed her hair in a quick ponytail before facing Robbie.

“I’m hungry,” she murmured. “But I don’t have anything to eat.”

“Can we go to-?”

“I’m not leaving,” Daisy snapped before he could finish. “It’s too dangerous.”

Robbie blinked slowly. “Ok. Can I get it?”

“You want to leave me?” Daisy fingered the hem of her PJ top, fully aware of how irrational she was acting.“You just got here.”

“I’ll be back, I promise.”

“I don’t believe you.” Daisy crossed her arms, getting anxious as Robbie unzipped his jacket, and threw it on her armchair. Why didn’t he ask if it was okay to put his jacket there? She slept there for Chrissakes. 

“I can ask Coulson to bring us something?” Robbie offered. 

“Ask May. She doesn’t hover like Coulson. And she’s discreet.”

And that’s how Robbie and Daisy had their first meal together. It was from Daisy’s favorite Chinese takeout, and May brought back all of her favorite dishes. Vegetable lo mein, shrimp fried rice, a dozen potstickers and an order of orange chicken. 

Robbie ended up staying the night and offered to take the couch or the recliner.

“You’re a guest though, and that recliner isn’t comfortable,” Daisy said. “Plus that’s where I sleep-” She stopped when Robbie gaped at her incredulously.

“Why do you sleep there if it’s uncomfortable?” 

It was an innocent question, but Daisy felt attacked. “Because it’s my _choice._ Anything else?”

And if Robbie thought about Daisy’s surliness, he didn’t say anything, but instead asked if it was okay if he got his duffel bag from the car. “You can come with me if you want?” 

“I’ll just wait here till you get back.” Daisy was embarrassed about her outburst and she picked up a potsticker, digging at it and peeling away the meat filling.

She kept her eyes on the door till he returned.

Robbie took the couch, and not wanting to look like a complete basket case, Daisy took her bed.

She waited till she heard Robbie’s even breaths till she let herself drift off to sleep, but as soon as the covers brushed the back of her ear, she screamed awake, her cries piercing the night.

“Stop!” Daisy thrashed in the bed. “Please stop! Please!”

Robbie rushed to her side, gently holding her hands, and pulling her closer. 

“He won’t stop, Robbie. He didn’t stop,” Daisy buried herself in his chest, needing to feel the warmth of another person.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Robbie rocked her back and forth, like a baby. “You're safe.”

“Can you stay with me?” Daisy looked up with a splotchy nose and a tear streaked face.

“Always,” Robbie promised, and for the rest of the night, he held her close, watching over her while she slept.

Morning came too soon. 

They woke up together, limbs tangled, as Daisy tried to get as close to Robbie as possible. After isolating herself for so long, she was craving human contact. 

Robbie's body temperature normally ran hot and he was sweating but he didn't dare let her go. He stuck his feet out from under the covers as Daisy curled into him.  
It was a curious thing, Robbie mused. Being in bed with a beautiful woman, legs entwined, chest to chest and cheek to cheek, and the only thing on his mind was how to protect her and love her. And how to help her smile again, and feel secure. To hope again.

“Why don’t you leave here?” Robbie ran his hand on Daisy’s back, long, even strokes, firm but gentle.

“SHIELD is the only family I have,” she mumbled. “And they put up with me.” She buried herself in his chest. “Besides. I have nowhere else to go.”

“The weather’s always nice in California,” Robbie brushed her hair away from her eyes. “Me and Gabe would love to have-”

“No,” Daisy interrupted him. “Thank you. But no.” She bit her lip as her eyes filled. “People always choose their blood family over me and-”

“Daisy, I won’t-”

“No, no, stop,” Daisy covered his mouth with her hand. “Don’t promise anything. It's not about me or Gabe. It’s just that you have family, and I don’t. So I’m not gonna insert myself because whenever I get kicked out it hurts too much.”

Robbie didn’t realize a tear had spilled over till Daisy reached out to his face and wiped it away. He wiped away hers. 

“How long can I stay here?” He couldn’t pull her any closer, so he buried his head in her hair. It smelled bright and clean. 

“Honestly?” Daisy rubbed her face in his neck. “Always. But I’m kinda really fucked up right now.”

Robbie snorted in her ear. “I realized when you shot at me.”

Daisy twisted in his arms. “Sorry about that. And for hitting you.”

“I told you, girl,” Robbie nuzzled her cheek. “You still owe me one more.” He frowned as he remembered her comments from last night. “So what’s up with your meds?”

“They make me feel sleepy and I hate lying down, so I haven’t been taking them,” Daisy confessed. “And the SHIELD therapist is a Doc-” Daisy faltered. “Everytime I see the D R on the therapist’s nameplate, I freak out.”

Robbie had gotten an update on Fitz and the Doctor, so he knew not to mention it.

“We’re gonna get through this one day at a time,” Robbie soothed. “You can sleep on me like last night. And Gabe Skype’s with his therapist? Maybe try another one?” He linked their hands. 

“Gabe has a therapist?” Daisy sat up. “Shit. I was supposed to be looking out-”

“The only person you’re supposed to be looking out for is yourself.” Robbie squeezed her hands. "What do you want for breakfast?”

“Nothing. But you can head downstairs to the cafeteria. My lanyard’s on the table.”

Robbie dressed and reluctantly left her but headed straight to Coulson’s office instead. It was his lucky morning because May was there, too.

“Daisy needs company,” Robbie said without preamble. “I’d like to stay here for a bit.”

“Are you asking for a job?” May exchanged a glance with Phil. 

“No, because I need to be available for Daisy.” Robbie’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry to barge in like this. I just need a parking spot for my car. And can I buy a meal plan or something?”

“I can get you a temporary consultant badge,” Coulson quirked a smile. “It’ll get you into the parking garage and cafeteria. And you can barge in anytime about Daisy. I can put in a call so she can get a larger studio?”

“Thanks, I appreciate it. But it’s Daisy’s call if she wants another room,” Robbie said.

The older couple exchanged another glance, and May spoke up. “Good answer, Robbie. Thank you.”

Robbie nodded and headed to the cafeteria.

He ended up getting Daisy a fruit salad and a smoothie, and a large bottle of spring water. Probably just tap water in it, Robbie grumbled when he saw the price. 

Daisy rolled her eyes when he returned, but allowed him to feed her some fruit and coax her a few sips of the smoothie.

“I know you’re having me eat, so I take my meds,” Daisy scowled at him. “They’re in my nightstand drawer.”

She was wearing one of Robbie’s t-shirts and a pair of his shorts and she looked adorable with her hair back in a ponytail.

“Can’t believe you shot me last night,”

“If I wanted to shoot you, you would’ve had a bullet between your eyes,” Daisy slurped on her smoothie. “It was wrong though, I’m-”

“You just look so peaceful right now,” Robbie didn’t let her finish. “Like nothing’s gonna bother you.” He handed her a brown plastic vial with a white prescription label.

“Maybe I feel a little peaceful,” Daisy’s eyes held a little sparkle. “Might be these comfy clothes I found. They’re mine now, by the way.”

“Going through my things, huh?” Robbie handed her the bottle of water. “Let me know what else you’re keeping.”

“I already have my eye on something,” Daisy smiled, her first true one since that day when trust and security got cut out of her. “And you’ll be the first to know, Reyes.”

Robbie caught her meaning, and his cheeks flushed as he looked away, sitting on the bed.

Daisy’s smile widened, and she swallowed her pill with a long drink of water, till almost half the bottle was gone. 

God, she must’ve been thirsty.

She wiped her mouth, setting the bottle aside, and not caring about propriety, she climbed on Robbie’s lap, snuggling on his chest. And like he promised, he held her till she became sleepy, making sure the side of her head with the scar didn't touch anything.

He listened to the sound of her breathing, and soon his breaths were in sync with hers. She was asleep now, her hand over his heart like she wanted to hold on to his heartbeat. She smelled of strawberries from her smoothie, and as he gently fixed her hair, peace washed over him.

Daisy had a long way to go, but he’d carry her till she got there. He was tired, too. 

He sighed, fixing the covers over them, making sure it was up to Daisy's chin, while he kicked his feet out. If Daisy was okay with it, maybe he could get a fan? He'd seen a sweet one with a remote, maybe they could make a quick outing.

He rested his cheek on hers, rough stubble on delicate softness and soon he was drifting off to sleep.

Two friends with murky pasts and an uncertain future but the promise to always stay with each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta Alina, who is the best :) <3 Feedback is much appreciated, I think I am still reeling from that episode!


End file.
